For newcomers, it can all be a bit bewildering. Launching yourself on the on-line dating scene is like finding yourself at a vast global party, surrounded by thousands of guests of every type and orientation, none of whom you’ve ever met before and who know nothing about you. The choice of potential partners is phenomenal. But the big problem is knowing where to start.
The techniques of seduction you require in a cyber setting are inevitably going to be somewhat different to those you might use in real-life meeting places, such as a club or a bar. There you don’t have to shout very loud to get yourself noticed – here you’ll need a giant megaphone to let everyone know you’ve arrived.
Making Yourself Heard
From the minute you post your details on a dating website or sign up to a social networking site, it’s all about making yourself clearly heard. Your photo, user name and the opening line of your personal statement are all critical factors that will largely determine how much interest you’re going to attract in the first instance. It’s imperative, then, that they really stand out.
A flattering picture is a must-have – don’t even consider not including one, unless you want everyone to think you have something to hide. (Too much airbrushing is a mistake though – it won’t help if the real you is a let-down!). In the event that your first photo selection doesn’t produce the desired results, don’t hesitate to change it as often as needed.
Who Are Your Trying to Attract?
Your pseudonym and profile headline should also be carefully chosen to grab the attention of the kind of person you’re trying to attract. In general it pays to be humorous (laughter is always the biggest turn-on), while being careful not to come across as flaky, and steering clear of cheesy lines that have already been worked to death.
Think twice, too, about appearing overly racy if by nature you’re actually quite staid. Cyber courage produces a personality change in some of us, and a sense of unreality can often creep in. Bear in mind though, that this is no fantasy game – call yourself ‘Sexy Lexy’ (or the male equivalent), and you may be inundated with cruisers looking for a one-night stand. Fine if this is the kind of person you want to attract; a huge waste of time, if not.
The one big difference between flirting with someone by email as opposed to person to person is the simple fact that you can’t see them and they can’t see you. Fairly obvious perhaps, but something that’s often forgotten – and the cause of countless flirting fiascos on line.
You Have to Spell It Out
Keep in mind that in a cyber environment, you’ll literally be taken at your word. Because the other person can’t pick up on your facial expressions – or on the tone and innuendo of your speech – when you’re joking or being ironic, to avoid giving them the wrong impression you have to spell it. For this reason, it’s wise always to add an emoticon, such as a smile or a wink.
If you’ve inadvertently offended someone, because you can’t actually see their reaction the first you’ll know of it is when they don’t answer your email – which is usually too late. There’s a fine line between flirting and rudeness, and never more so than when you’re talking on line. It’s best to assume that anything that’s inappropriate to say or do in a face-to-face situation will be equally – if not more – off-putting on line.
The best way to get someone to respond to you, is to be polite and to the point. It often happens that we don’t hear from someone simply because we haven’t asked for a reply! When you email a person you’re seriously interested in, it has to be more than a quick ‘hello’. If you’re genuinely keen to get to know them, again it’s important to make it clear.
Don’t Be a Cyber Bore!
Bombarding them with incessant messages though, is never a good move. Too much too soon is always a big no-no when you’re trying to seduce someone on line. It makes you look a bit desperate, puts the other person on the defensive – and is likely to earn you a name as a pest.
Rather than pouring out your whole life story in all the boring details, it’s best to limit what you say about yourself in the first instance to a few pertinent and interesting facts. People who talk incessantly about themselves are generally given a wide berth – especially when this happens on line.
We all know the importance of trying to be honest in a cyber situation (because it’s so tempting to tell a few white lies!) But there are certain things it’s wise not to reveal initially when we’re flirting with someone on line.
Don't Declare All Your Baggage
The anonymity of emailing often breaks down our social inhibitions in an unhelpful way. In ‘real life’ we’d never disclose all the skeletons in our closet to a total stranger. Why, then, do some of us feel compelled to declare all our baggage the very first time we talk to someone on line?
Understanding what – and what not – to say in a particular situation tends to be an acquired skill. Charm and diplomacy may well be inborn in some people, but they’re things that any of us can learn at any time. If we’re trying to master the techniques of on-line seduction, we’d all benefit from a crash course in schmoozing – by definition, the art of chatting up those from whom we have something personally to gain.
Learn the Art of Schmoozing
When we’re flirting, schmoozing is about showing somebody that we find them attractive and making ourselves attractive to them in return. The trick is knowing just how far to go with the sweet talk without appearing disingenuous. Overdo it and you’ll sound cringe-makingly smarmy. Hit the spot and you’ll open all kinds of doors for yourself in your love life which would otherwise remain firmly shut.
The more facts we can acquire about the person we’re schmoozing, the more easily we can connect with them – and the greater our chances of ‘getting in good’. We can of course familiarize ourselves with their interests, and learn a bit about their personality, from their on-line personal statement. But as a reliable source of inside information on whoever we’re hoping to make it with, nothing beats taking a look at their birth chart.
Astrology as a Tool of Seduction
Astrology offers us insights into the hidden facets of someone’s personality that can’t be gleaned simply from reading their profile or from corresponding with them on line. Because these are traits that even the person themselves may not be consciously aware of, you may even fail to pick up on them at a face to face meeting.
Everybody is different in terms of what they’re looking for from love – and not everyone responds to the same flirtation techniques. For this reason, the better we can acquaint ourselves with someone’s little idiosyncrasies – their likes and dislikes, their strong points and their weaknesses – the more we can hone our seduction strategy and the more likely we are to win them over.
An Outrageously Unfair Advantage!
By highlighting the specific dynamics, both good and bad, likely to exist between ourselves and another person, astrology helps us to make the most of those things that are on our side, while avoiding more problematic issues which might wreck our chances. Not least, it helps us to time our critical moves on those days with the best probable outcome.
Only astrology holds the key to in-depth secrets of this kind. Okay, so it gives us an outrageously unfair advantage. But if we’re a serious player in the on-line seduction game and we want to get a head start, it may be one we can’t afford not to take!
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